Now here’s one that might surprise some of you- I’m going to talk about long distance relationships! Don’t get me wrong I am by no means a love guru, & my advice usually consists of quotes from Gossip Girl or Bridget Jones’ Diary, but just this once I think I know what I’m talking about.
Once over you would of heard me saying that I could never get involved in a long distance relationship. That was of course, until I fell for someone at home and then decided to relocate to get a degree. For us, this decision was already made before we got together & both went into the relationship with our eyes open. We knew it would be hard, but it would be OK. Why? Because I knew it would only be 3 years until I would move back home & be surrounded by both our families & friends. Don’t get me wrong- it was still difficult but it was also exciting! I can probably speak for Ben in this case too. More time to spend with his *queue Jay from the Inbetweeners voice* ‘car friends’ & modifying his car? He’d take that in a heartbeat.
It’s the couples that make the tough decision to make a go of this long-distance jazz without having a time limit on the time they’ll spend apart. They are the strong ones. Simply having the trust in the relationship and belief that you are a team no matter what the distance is truly special. At first it might seem like you are on two completely different planets. This is something I found really difficult. I felt like we had completely different lives & that I was just the ‘girlfriend who lives away’. It wasn’t until at least a year had passed that I realised this is not true at all. Just because you aren’t seen by your other halves family & friends every day doesn’t mean that they don’t know your importance. You might spend Christmas together, birthdays or Valentines Day. Any time you spend together can be a special occasion & you should look forward to each & every time you can say both ‘good night’ and ‘good morning’ to the person you miss dearly for the majority of the year.
I am very lucky. In the way that I get to see my boyfriend for at least 3 days every single week because despite what I thought at first, a 3 hour drive is not the other end of the earth. Plus, I have found someone willing to make short- term sacrifices for our long-term plans. We miss each other, of course, but the last 3 years of distance has made us stronger than ever. It’s essential to trust & love. Without those- it just wouldn’t work. It also means that you get a lot of time to yourself. You are likely to feel lonely from time to time but I have recently learned to use ‘me-time’ wisely. My counsellor taught me how to look at things from a different perspective. Instead of the initial negativity, “I have nothing planned for today, I’m so bored & lonely.”- turn this around. “Some people would love a day off with nothing planned & no responsibilities. What can I do to enjoy myself?”.
Self Care? Check.
University work? Done.
Catch up with friends? On it.
Update my blog & earn money from home? Always.
You’ll learn to enjoy your own company but also learn how to appreciate the time you can spend laughing and joking with the person you care about most.
Something else I have found difficult is having to block out time to spend with certain people. When you live with your partner (or nearby) you can wake up with them in the morning, eat breakfast, go out through the day to meet friends and do your own thing, then meet back up with them for a catch up (and probably a bit of a rant about something completely insignificant- let’s be honest) and be quite content as you say ‘good night’. In a long distance relationship this is difficult. You are either with them or you’re not. We want to make sure that when we can spend time with each other we do, because otherwise the weekend will pass quicker than ever and we have to go another week relying on catch up phone calls and texts.
With all of these pros and cons of long distance relationships- I cannot wait to go home & start the next chapter of my life whilst living in a home that is ours. I can absolutely see why this works for some people- but in the long run this just wouldn’t be for me. I have found it so therapeutic to cross off the days on my calendar & look forward to the excitement & memories that are ahead of us. And now, it’s just around the corner!
Are you in a long distance relationship? Have you been in a long distance relationship in the past? I’d love to hear your experiences!
Now I’m off for a catch up phone call & to send a good night text,
Love, Kayleigh Rose x